California

Guy forcing way through crowded dance floor: Excuse me, you fucking beautiful bitch.
Girl, stepping aside, then suddenly turning to friend: Should I be offended?

Privilege
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: elise

Teenage girl: It's like every time we get close he backs out. I can't help to think it has something to do with his penis size.
Friend: Next time just throw him over your shoulder and take him back to the cave.

Santee, California

Overheard by: Story of my life

Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well…I lost the baby…
Asian friend: Oh, well…just put “no.”

Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California

Overheard by: CINDI

College girl: Yeah, but I don't fuck my kids.
Friend: Well, you don't have any yet.
College girl, looking down: I can't believe I just checked my vagina before I answered that.

College Campus
SoCal, California

Customer to cashier: I love that name, “Sierra.” My parents were going to name me Sierra Dawn if I was a girl, because they really wanted their last child to finally be a girl. But I wasn't. Now I use Sierra as my drag name.

West Hollywood, California

Fat, bike-riding nerd, to no one: Turning on the afterburners… Yeah, baby… Accelerating!

Albertsons
California

Tall skinny guy: Did you know that three out of every four deaths on roller coasters are girls? It's because they're so small and aerodynamic.

Six Flags
Valencia, California

Short Asian chick to tall white guy: Oh my gawd, I've got it! So, heat rises, right? So it's probably all warm up there where you are, and down here with the normal people it's cold, and that's why you don't think it's cold, even though it's freaking freezing! Gawd, I love being an Asian! I come up with the most genius shit!

Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California

Coffee-drinking woman: Thank god they're Buddhists. Unlike Christians, where we'll just blow the shit out of each other. And not in the good way.

Marin, California

[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!

Vons
Ventura, California