Even Better Than Peeing on the Parsley

Very serious little boy: I just love the grocery store bathroom.
Confused mom: Why? What’s so great about it?
Little boy, wistfully: It’s just so peaceful…

Kaiser
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Posted on August 5, 2015
California, Happiness, Kids, Moms

Oh Yeah, You’d Like Me to Pour You on My Meat

Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on August 2, 2015
California, Default, Etiquette, Fears, Food, Friends, Guys, Sexuality, Weirdness

She Has Everything I've Always Wanted, and a Little Something More

Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.

Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California

Posted on August 1, 2015
California, Default, Names, On the phone, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Stores, Suits

…Before You Bleed Them Dry

Clueless girl: My computer has a virus.
Computer geek: You need an external hard drive to transfer the files you want to keep.
Clueless girl: Can't I just transfer it to another computer?
Computer geek: No, the virus will spread.
Clueless girl: (blank stare)
Computer geek: Its like fucking someone with AIDS.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on July 30, 2015
Advice, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Girls, STDs, Technology

If Our Disastrous Trip to Thailand Was Any Indication

Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Passing Student

Posted on July 28, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types

She'd Kill to Have Christopher Walken's Hair

Girl #1: You mean like Christopher Walken?
Girl #2: I think he's going to be on Glee next week, I mean it did look like him.
Girl #1: Oh, don't get my hopes up!
Girl #2: Oh, never mind, it's going to be Julie Andrews.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Posted on July 28, 2015
About celebrities, California, Girls, Movies

We’re Hoping She Stays Out of the Minibar

Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.

Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Holidays, Idiots, On the phone, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

And This Time Don’t Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

YMCA
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

Posted on July 25, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Fears, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Violence, Weirdness, YMCA

Let Us Give Thanks for Safe and Legal Birth Control

Brother: Where's the baby?
Sister: Over there. (gestures to crazy 4-5 year old child in jungle gym)
Brother: I'm sorry, but every time my nephew goes insane I want to clothesline him.
Sister: I don't think you're quite ready for fatherhood yet.

Playground
Poway, California

Overheard by: Jail, Anyone?

Posted on July 24, 2015
California, Default, Family, Family ties, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Questions

Tingly!

Young woman #1: I wonder if Vicks expires.
Young woman #2: Yeah, it expires. I use it as butt lube.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Ashrey

Posted on July 24, 2015
Ass, Backdoor, California, Default, Drugs, Weirdness, Women