That's the Last Time I Let You Dog-Sit.

20-something girl on phone: Okay, how much did she drink? Okay. (pause) Well, can you wake her up? No? (pause) Okay, see, but I don't think it would be a good idea to give her some cocaine.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: frink

Posted on November 17, 2014
California, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Girls, On the phone

Like on My Website

Asian chick: Oh my god, this huge, fat-ass raindrop just fell on my head.
Friend: You’re a huge, fat-ass raindrop! You’re such a fat-ass raindrop, you make people over-hydrated!
Asian chick, shocked: There’s no such thing as over-hydrated! You just pee a lot!

Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California

Posted on November 17, 2014
Asians, California, Pee, Stupidity

Uh, That’s Cheese

Guy flirting with cute blonde: Did you know that melons are a natural palate cleanser? Yeah, I’m kind of a melon connoisseur.

Dining hall, UC Santa Cruz
California

Posted on November 15, 2014
Bragging, California, Guys

You’re Gonna Love the Priesthood

Bespectacled, be-hatted, be-flanneled guy to friend: It’s like Seattle without the heroin, New York without the coke. All bets are off. People are drunk 24/7.

Channing and Ellsworth
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Kaitlen, who wishes she knew where they were talking about

Posted on November 12, 2014
California, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Guys, Weirdness

Didn't He Die?

Loud, livid woman barging through the crowd, completely serious: Move it! Get out of my way, I have to make pizza for Patrick Swayze!

Farmers Market
Culver City, California

Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse

Posted on November 10, 2014
About celebrities, California, Food, Women

The Cardinal of Contempt? The Deacon of Disdain?

Wife: Honey, be nice…
Husband: No, I refuse to be nice. It’s against my religion.
Wife: Oh, sure, you should get your own title… Archbishop of Jackass.

Home Depot
Rancho Cucamonga, California