Serious guy: There is no… fucking… applesauce!
Dining Hall
UC, Santa Cruz
Overheard by: Willing to bet there's no regular applesauce either
Serious guy: There is no… fucking… applesauce!
Dining Hall
UC, Santa Cruz
Overheard by: Willing to bet there's no regular applesauce either
Dude #1: You gotta find a girl to fuck. On the side.
Dude #2: I'm not like that. That's your game.
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Drunk mother to son: Look at the two girls at the bar behind you. The one in the blue shirt has huge boobs!
Son to drunk mother: They look familiar.
Foster City, California
Woman #1: Look at that rainbow outside!! It's huge!
Woman #2: I know! It's like when you see a black dick for the first time.
Turlock, California
Home girl #1: Ay, foo, I thought I was pregnant!
Home girl #2: Oh, nahh!
Home girl #1: Yeah! Junior was all “Ay, you got your period yet or what?” and I was all “no, why?” and he goes “because I was tryn' to get you pregnant!” Chhh! Crazy huh?
CSULA Cafeteria
California
Overheard by: Itshahaholly
Blind old lady to old lady friend: Oh my, you started peeing so fast.
Old lady friend: Yes, it's because I stand up.
Blind old lady: Ohhhh…
Old lady friend: Yes, not a lot of women know how to stand up, you know.
Blind old lady: Yes, that's true. My mother used to stand.
CSULA Women's Bathroom
California
Overheard by: itshahaholly
Female barista: He's going to Tel Aviv or something. I don't even know where that is.
Male barista: Tel Aviv?
Female barista: Yeah, it's like in Egypt or something, I think.
Male barista: Oh, wait, no, that's the tv station.
Female barista: What?
Male barista: Yeah, it's like their version of the BBC.
Starbucks
Orinda, California
Guy, mournfully: Tiger fights are so generic now…
Westwood, California
Girl to girlfriend: If our burritos were in jail, my burrito would rape your burrito.
Chipotle
Northridge, California
Confused elderly female patient, trying to punch staff: If you kill me, my family will hunt you down and take all your money!
Nurse's aide, trying to clean up patient: Yeah, we hear that a lot.
Hospital
Burlingame, California
