Guy, about hand sanitizer: You know that germ stuff? Well, I put it on my hands, then I put it on my butt cheeks, and it stung my butt cheeks!
Monterey, California
Guy, about hand sanitizer: You know that germ stuff? Well, I put it on my hands, then I put it on my butt cheeks, and it stung my butt cheeks!
Monterey, California
Child of privileged hipster: I'm into capitalism too. Just not, like, evil capitalism.
Oakland, California
Girl #1: Did you see the pictures of Joan* from last night?
Girl #2: Yeah, that's what somebody without a soul looks like.
Chico, California
Overheard by: Colleen
Guy on bicycle: Hey guys, what should we do when we get home?
Bike friend #1: Hmm… I don't know.
Bike friend #2: Let's masturbate!
Guy on bicycle: Yeah!
University of California
Santa Barbara, California
Guy: Glitter is like the herpes of craft! It just gets everywhere!
Michael's Arts and Crafts
Merced, California
Employee #1: It's been such a slow day. I feel like I've been here forever.
Employee #2: I know, right?
Employee #1: How about you? Today been slow for you too?
Employee #3: Nope. I discovered time travel.
Hardware Store
Agoura Hills, California
Mom to two little kids sitting directly behind her on the train: Do you feel a little bit better now that you've got slight independence?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: They were the best behaved children there that day.
Dude to friends: So he had this towel spread out on the bed, and he popped a cherry in his mouth…
San Luis Obispo, California
Guy on cell: If you're serious about jumping, you go to the Golden Gate Bridge. If you're really not, go to the Bay Bridge.
San Mateo, California
Overheard by: Technetium
Stylish girl: I could never be happy with him. All he does is speak in cliches. Who could be happy with someone like that?
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
