Canadia

Punk teen girl to friend: So I was like, “Woah, dude! Who are you? You're awesome!” Because none of us knew him, he just came over and set a pizza down in front of us!

Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: um…are you sure he wasn't the waiter?

Waitress: Can I get you something to drink?
Boyfriend: Uh yeah, a Sprite please.
Waitress: Is 7 Up okay?
Boyfriend: Uh…sure.
Waitress: And for you?
Girlfriend: Can I get a Sprite?

New Market
Canadia

Overheard by: meggler

Explosive, neurotic 20-something to friend: Say your prayers, mantis pants!

Vancouver, BC
Canadia

Guy: I saw Mark yesterday.
Girl: Oh my gawd! We haven't seen him, like, since the nightclub last year.
Guy: I'm surprised you remember that night.
Girl: Yeah, good thing you are strong enough to carry me.
Guy: Good thing you were wearing underwear.
Girl: Barely.
Guy: That's my girl.

TTC Subway
Toronto
Canadia

Genuinely confused girlfriend: Here's the thing I don't get about Guantanamo Bay…is it an actual place?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: MoMo

Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.

McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia

Young drunk guy: …but everything will be better once I break his jaw.
Friend: Yeah, word.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: bex

Teacher: So this equation is like a machine. You substitute “n” for “-5” and it gives you the product. It's like a sausage-making machine…

Math Class
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia

Girl: My cooter smells like Zoodles…

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Girl #1: He's kind of ugly.
Girl #2: He kind of reminds me of a marionette because his cheeks are shiny and puffed up all the time.

Black Market Vintage Clothing
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: kj