Clothes

Guy: I took some ibuprofen, and then when I woke up in the morning all my clothes were off. Luckily, my headache was gone.

Seattle, Washington

Eccentric driver's ed student: Sometimes I really just like to sniff my pants. (leans forward and sniffs his pants)

Northport, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Bearded 20-something to friends: Pants or no pants, I'm gonna party tonight!

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Matt

Hot girl in line #1: Oh my god, I was so bad today! I had two whole scoops of ice cream for lunch.
Hot girl in line #2: You better watch it or you're not going to be able to fit into that cocktail dress you're buying.
Fat woman behind them: I fucking hate skinny people!

Department Store
Stockton, California

Grandma: She doesn't need those…she's getting too big for baby clothes.
Mom: I know, but I don't want her to be too big for baby clothes! I just want her to stay little and not start talking…or moving.

Shop
Buffalo, New York

Girl on cell to guy with glasses: Oh! Megan found your pants!
Guy with glasses, doing jazz hands: Yay!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: What…?

Girl, surprised: A naked man??
Guy, after introspective pause: No…I prefer them in tights.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Flight attendant: Fasten your seatbelt low and tight around your waist, like Britney Spears' pants.

Airplane
St. Louis, Missouri

Physics major #1: Well, I lost my credit and debit cards, so I had to call and cancel them.
Physics major #2: Oh yeah, those girls who took off your pants, right?

McGill University
Canadia

Woman wearing puffy coat: Wearing a puffy coat makes me feel like …
Man also wearing a puffy coat: It makes me feel like dancing.
Woman: …punching people.

Quebec City
Canadia