That's Why Raccoons Wash Their Food First

Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.

UC
Berkeley, California

Posted on August 15, 2017
California, Cleanliness, Colleges & Universities, Friends, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Penis, Sensory experiences

As Well As a Yumminess Thing

Black girl on one side: We look like an Oreo!
White girl in middle (jokingly): Oh, is that a race thing?
Black girl on the other side: Yes.

Outside Harvard Medical School
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on August 10, 2017
Black people, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Massachusetts, Questions, Race, Students, Whiteys

Pythagoras Is a Jealous God, People

Math teacher: If you fuck with numbers, you're fucking with god! And people get killed for that shit!

University of Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Tormented Math Student

Posted on August 2, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Florida, God, Sex, Teachers, Violence

Sex with Livestock Is a Close Second.

Professor: Apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your name into the Bonnie and Clyde monument.

University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee

Overheard by: darkhorse

Posted on July 27, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Names, Teachers, US Geography, Wisconsin

But If I Had to Make a Guess It Would Be “Pussy and Blow”

Professor: What did our founding fathers want? Who cares? They’re dead.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on July 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Education, History, Ohio, Teachers, Wishes

You’re Definitely a Man

Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?

Outside Beaver [all girl’s dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio

Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla

Posted on June 15, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Gossip, Guys, Ohio, Time Management, Virginity

With the Help of Her Lovely Assistant

Jewish student, about another: Every time we talk about the holocaust she, like, throws her Jew out and spins a dreidel with it or whatever.

SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Posted on June 6, 2017
Colleges & Universities, History, Jews, New York, Politics, Religion, Students, Words

For Example, Say This Beaker Is My Vagina

Lab TA, chatting during break: So I live alone, and I have a lot of trouble opening bottles. Have you guys ever heard of the plastic husband?
(entire class laughs)
Lab TA: No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I need help opening things up!
(class laughs again)

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Posted on June 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Pennsylvania, Sex, Teachers, Weirdness

Mark Penn Offered Us $2 Million for This Quote

Black girl to another black girl wearing Obama t-shirt: Girl, what is that on your shirt? Mmmm, Obama is looking all fine up on your chest.

UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina

Posted on May 29, 2017
Black people, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Compliments, Default, Girls, North Carolina, Politics

Available in a Wide Variety Of Sizes and Colors

Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?

Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Hank

Posted on May 23, 2017
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Georgia, Girls, Questions, Sex, Toys, Wishes

Colleges & Universities