Dude #1: My urine is probably clearer than the water coming out of the shower. My penis is like a Brita, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: So I’m practically peeing holy water.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Dude #1: My urine is probably clearer than the water coming out of the shower. My penis is like a Brita, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: So I’m practically peeing holy water.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Chick to friend: … So I stuck my fingers up her nose, and I got a free nose ring out of it!
Vassar campus
Poughkeepsie, New York
Girl #1: So I was, like, in this hot tub with this guy, and we’re, like, making out or whatever.
Girl #2: Uh-huh…
Girl #1: And then I go, ‘What’s your name?’ And I think he said something, but I was like, ‘Whatever.’
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html
Overheard by: alex b.
Girlfriend: I swear I told you.
Boyfriend: No, you didn’t.
Girlfriend, exasperated: Look, if I was lying then my hands would fall off. See? They’re still on, so I’m not lying.
Boyfriend: I don’t think that’s a valid argument.
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Suzie
Drunk frat boy: Shiiit, I’m God! I’m God, and I’ve seen so much asscrack!
Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island
Business professor: What time is the final next week?
Students: Monday from 1 to 3pm.
Business professor: No! That can’t be right — the school would not give a 3-hour exam!
Student: I never talked about vaginas nearly this much until I came to Smith.
Cushing/Emerson dining hall, Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
First year girl: I wouldn’t let my mom kiss me goodnight if I had a vagina for a nose, anyways.
Queen’s University
Ontario
Canadia
College girl: We blew a fuse in our room last night. Just in our room, not the rest of the hall.
Science professor: And what did you do to solve this problem?
College girl: I cried.
Professor: That doesn't solve the problem!
College girl: Well, half of my hair was dry and the other half wasn't!
Professor: You were not bilaterally symmetrical. That can be a problem.
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.
Illinois State University
Overheard by: Eddy
