Nursing student #1, about absent classmate: If she'd have kept her fucking mouth shut and not been a motherfucking snitch we wouldn't be in this mess!
Nursing student #2: Why'd she snitch on us?
Nursing student #1: I don't know, but she think she the best thing since apple sauce!
(long pause)
Nursing student #1: I really like applesauce!
Marian College
Indianapolis, Indiana
Prospective student's mother: I hear there are a lot of lesbians on this campus.
Student tour guide: Well, it isn't like they jump out of the bushes and convert you or anything.
College, Colorado
Male student in campus center: So once you put on the wetsuit, you pee all over yourself. Then you're warm for the whole time!
Princeton University
New Jersey
Overheard by: excuse me?
Professor to unmoving grad students: That's a fire alarm…pay no attention.
Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey
Ditzy female student #1: How cute is it that she can bend all the way over with her elbows on the floor?
Ditzy female student #2: I know! Do you think she'll teach us how to do it?
Ditzy female student #1: Yeah! And then we can get someone to take a photo!
Murdoch University
Perth
Australia
Guy #1: You walked back to your house naked last night?
Guy #2: Yeah, but I was wearing socks.
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Jayne
Coed #1: Jill, hi! I haven't seen you for like, a year!
Coed #2, smoking cigarette and clutching Red Bull: I know! I quit drinking!
WSC Campus
Wayne, Nebraska
Preppy girl #1, working on chemistry assignment: So, say you have a finite amount of this chemical.
Preppy girl #2: Wait, “finite” means there's no limit.
Preppy girl #1: No, that's “infinite.”
Preppy girl #2: “Finite” and “infinite” are the same thing. “Finite” is the adjective form of “infinite.”
Suzalo Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Scared for America's future
Girl #1: Let me suggest to you…
Girl #2 (interrupting): Why can't I take like drugs or sex? Something that interests me? Not like race… Not that it isn't that interesting… Not that I'm racist. I'm not a racist. (nervous laugh)
Long Island University, New York
Overheard by: Reena
Male tour guide: So, this building is wh…
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Mike! (hugs tour guide)
Male tour guide: Hi…how are you?
Sorostitute: I'm great, but I gotta run, call me!
Mom in tour: I thought you said your name was Josh!
Male tour guide: It is…I don't know who that was.
Eastern Michigan University
