Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Guy on cell phone: I think it would look really bad if you gave me a check for $1000.
University Library
Montreal
Canadia
Teacher: If you could be any vegetable, what would you be?
Random black student: I'd be a strawberry.
University of Florida
Overheard by: amused greatly
Girl in library #1: My intro and conclusion are really bad.
Girl in library #2: It's okay… an essay with a bad intro and conclusion is like a hot guy in dirty clothes.
Dalhousie University
Canadia
Friend #1, totally serious: Wait, who's Ron Paul?
Friend #2, joking: He's an African warlord.
Friend #1, still totally serious: He can't be! Africans don't have real names!
Grinnell College
Grinnell, Iowa
Overheard by: Goron
Undergrad student: Where are the nursing faculty?
University secretary: Pumping.
College
Missouri
Overheard by: rami
College student: Where do babies come from?
Professor: Well, one of mine came from a test tube, one came from China, and two of them came from a crazy woman. Any more questions?
UMW
Fredericksburg, Virginia
College girl: So, I was giving this guy a blowjob and a guy with a water gun walked by…
University of Evansville, Indiana
Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Alice Haefeli
Goober: I wish the whole world was edible!
Pseudo-metalhead: Dude, then everything would be, like, sticky and gross.
Goober: Well, that's assuming everything would be like candy. It wouldn't have to be sticky and gross.
Professor: I'm gonna jump in here before it gets any weirder.
Bard College
New York
Overheard by: why i put up with philosophy
