It's So Difficult to Pick Up a String Quintet in Colorado

Shabby looking 50-something woman to herself as group of guys walk by: No, that's three guys, I need five.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: fortunately one of only three

Posted on February 14, 2009
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Weirdness, Women, Words

Thoughtful and Creepy, That's You

Suit: Well, no, I've never had an STD before…why, do you want to give me one?

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: wallflower

Posted on February 12, 2009
Colorado, Default, Questions, Sex, STDs, Suits

I've Got the List Whittled Down to Me, You, and Anderson Cooper

Punk dude: I have the ability to decide who deserves a soul.

Manitou Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Nathan Brauner

Posted on February 9, 2009
Colorado, Default, Euphemisms, Gifts, Guys, Punks, Weirdness

The Main Problem Is the Language Barrier

Young man: I love living in Honolulu, but everything's so expensive. I can barely afford just to live. It's actually pretty common to buy milk for eight dollars a gallon!
20-something girl: Wow! Really? What's the exchange rate there?
Young man (looking rather baffled): It's about one to one.
20-something girl: Oh, well, that's not too bad.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Brian

Posted on February 7, 2009
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Geography, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Language barrier, Money, Questions

While Black Eyeliner Is the New Jersey State Bird

Goth girl to friend: You have to know your ChapStick! ChapStick is the Colorado state bird!

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on January 12, 2009
Birds, Colorado, Default, Geography, Girls, Goths, Names

One More and She Gets a Set of Steak Knives

Guy on cell: The trial's today… Um… No…for the last time mom was in jail.

16th Street
Denver, Colorado

Posted on December 8, 2008
Colorado, Crimes, Default, Family ties, Guys, On the phone, Weirdness

The Same Issue Carmen Electra Has Every Saturday Night

Professor about poem A Wife's Lament: The real issue we are dealing with with this woman is how many guys are involved and in what kinds of positions.

Univsersity of Colorado, Denver

Posted on November 16, 2008
Books, Colorado, Default, Gender issues, Sexuality, Words

Then Why Have I Seen Paintings of It?

Psychology professor, on the topic of conditioning: Well, you can't spank a dolphin!

UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: really?

Posted on October 26, 2008
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Default, Teachers, Violence

As Friends

White guy: So, is it true that when you die you go to heaven and get forty virgins to do whatever with?
Muslim guy: No, that's wrong. It's heaven: you get as many virgins as you want.

Liberty High School
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on October 7, 2008
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Guys, Questions, Religion, Religious fanatics, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Whiteys

If Only Our Current Administration Could Grasp That Principle

Teacher: Hey! Who was screaming?
Three-year-old: I was.
Teacher: Well, stop screaming inside.
Three-year-old: Sam* was screaming.
Teacher: Look, important lesson for the future: keep your lies consistent.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on September 25, 2008
Colorado, Default, Education, Kids, Lies, Questions, Teachers