Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.
Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Bored woman on cell: Wow, you have a lot of potatoes.
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: … What?!
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
Black girl on one side: We look like an Oreo!
White girl in middle (jokingly): Oh, is that a race thing?
Black girl on the other side: Yes.
Outside Harvard Medical School
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Woman #1: In all seriousness, given the choice, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be male or female.
Woman #2: It'd be really nice not to have cramps.
Woman #1: Yeah, and bleeding in public can be embarrassing, but perhaps less embarrassing than having things “pop up” unexpectedly.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Angelica Burns
Woman: I imagine that finding out you have a tumor is very much like finding out you're pregnant.
Los Angeles, California
Cute, hungry 20-something: I love menus, they're like porn.
SEPTA Bus
Philadelhia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
Old lady: Look at that cheese–such a pretty color! Like one of Hillary Clinton's pantsuits.
Santa Rita Cantina
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Katie
Guy: I suck today.
Girl: Depending on how much you suck, i might suck today too.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: pengie
