Tanorexic blonde on date: So basically the fucking doctor told me that my cervix is fucked up.
Uncomfortable-looking date: Right…
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. Cunt told me that it'd be like pushing a baby through a toothpaste tube. I gotta go get it widened or some shit like that. Or that thing where they cut you open…
Uncomfortable-looking date: A caesarian?
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. That's it. Baby kebab.
Leamington Spa
England
Wise eight-year-old boy to brother: Getting a girlfriend is the easy part. But you have to know how to keep them.
Attentive six-year-old: How do you get them to stay?
Wise eight-year-old: You have to find out what kind of food they like to eat. And give them a plastic unicorn.
Nature Park
Tampa, Florida
Hungover guy #1: Dude, you smell like alcohol!
Hungover guy #2: Bro, I feel like alcohol.
Elmore, Alabama
Computer professor explaining design process: You can't use shortcuts until you have lots of experience, like your mom.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/382740064/thats-a-different-kind-of-experience.html
Overheard by: I bet!
Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.
Las Vegas, Navada
Overheard by: ScaredTourist
Teacher: Okay, so get out your books and start doing the exercises.
Student: Can I borrow your book?
Teacher: You didn't bring your books? Man…you guys are such losers.
Philadelphia University, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Student
Meathead #1: So, I think she's fuckin' some other dude…
Meathead #2: Yeah…but dude, just because she's fuckin' him doesn't mean she can't fuck you too.
Gym
USC, California
[Girl hugging a guy.]Girl: Eew, you smell like vagina.
Guy: Oh no, that’s just Philadelphia.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/05/another-day-another-dig-at-another-city.html
Overheard by: EavesdropDC
Guy #1: I really don't think it's that bad. I dunno why he's so mad. I mean, all she did was show her boobs to some cameraman for some money. It's not like she did anything wrong, right?
Guy #2: What if it was your girlfriend on Girls Gone Wild? How would you feel?
Guy #1: I dunno… Glad I get to see them for free?
Irvine, California
Overheard by: cheekzz
Mid-20s girl: So, I’ve been a vegetarian for about six years now and I’m trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I’d die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm… Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I mean like peas and stuff.
Kokomo, Indiana
Overheard by: Justin
