Old man employee:… So I was at the Cabbage Patch Kid factory in Georgia…
Young trailer trash dude employee: Cabbage Patch Kids?!? I’d rather hold hands with a midget clown than play with one of those things!
Hardware Store
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: kat
Girl #1: He keeps calling me a slut whenever I see him, and I'm like “what the hell?”, you know?
Girl #2: You should say something back.
Girl #1: Yeah, but I don't know what.
Girl #2: Oh! Let me help you, I'm good with comebacks! You should say, “well, at least I… (long pause) …look like a cookie.”
High School Bathroom
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Meghan
Tutor: Wikipedia is not homework!
University of Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kiri
Student girl: Aw man, I’ve no food in the house. It’s like I’ve been robbed, but it’s my fault!
Sainsbury’s
Lancaster
England
Four-year-old boy, wielding plastic sword and shield: It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, it's a sword.
Four-year-old boy: No! It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, no, no, Danny. Knives are for cutting. Swords are for vanquishing.
99 B-Line
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Frodo Baggins
Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble…
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Teenage girl being pushed in shopping trolley, singing loudly: Nineteen! You're only nineteen, for god's sake, oh, you don't need a boyfriend!
Teenage boy pushing girl, monotone: Everybody is looking at you. They think you're a lesbian.
Teenage girl: I feel like such a rebel! But we should return this trolley, like dutiful citizens.
Geelong
Victoria
Australia
Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No… You know… The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew… Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant
Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Meghan
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
