Woman on cell: I just asked how’s he doing and he actually told me that he’s getting hard just talking to me. [Pause.] Well, what do you think I would say? “Oh ,that’s nice”!? Hell no! I said: “Oh crap! Sorry, I have another call, gotta go”. Yeah, that was definitely odd. Remind me never to be nice and try calling my exes again.
Florida
Woman to friend: I don't know what her gender or sexuality is. I just can't believe she'd do that to me.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Freda
Bearded dude: Yeah… I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270406952/you-know-what-they-say-about-loving-yourself.html
Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation…
Tanorexic blonde on date: So basically the fucking doctor told me that my cervix is fucked up.
Uncomfortable-looking date: Right…
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. Cunt told me that it'd be like pushing a baby through a toothpaste tube. I gotta go get it widened or some shit like that. Or that thing where they cut you open…
Uncomfortable-looking date: A caesarian?
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. That's it. Baby kebab.
Leamington Spa
England
Wise eight-year-old boy to brother: Getting a girlfriend is the easy part. But you have to know how to keep them.
Attentive six-year-old: How do you get them to stay?
Wise eight-year-old: You have to find out what kind of food they like to eat. And give them a plastic unicorn.
Nature Park
Tampa, Florida
Hungover guy #1: Dude, you smell like alcohol!
Hungover guy #2: Bro, I feel like alcohol.
Elmore, Alabama
Computer professor explaining design process: You can't use shortcuts until you have lots of experience, like your mom.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/382740064/thats-a-different-kind-of-experience.html
Overheard by: I bet!
Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.
Las Vegas, Navada
Overheard by: ScaredTourist
Teacher: Okay, so get out your books and start doing the exercises.
Student: Can I borrow your book?
Teacher: You didn't bring your books? Man…you guys are such losers.
Philadelphia University, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Student
Meathead #1: So, I think she's fuckin' some other dude…
Meathead #2: Yeah…but dude, just because she's fuckin' him doesn't mean she can't fuck you too.
Gym
USC, California
