God Decides to Test Out a More Adorable Grim Reaper

Little boy, excitedly: Everybody's dying these days!

Hooksett, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Evee

Posted on July 2, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Guys, Kids, New Hampshire, Words

And Have an Orgy to Celebrate– Right, Mommy?

Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Overheard by: Jake

Posted on July 1, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Girls, History, Kids, Moms, New York, Pop culture, Women

You Can't Tell the Serial Killers from the Doctors Without a Program

Sally's* uncle: How did Sally enjoy her night observing an ambulance crew?
Sally's mum: She said it was pretty boring. Not nearly enough blood and gore. She did get to kill a guy, though.
Sally's uncle: She what?
Sally's mum: They picked up a guy who was having a heart attack. The paramedic had Sally do something with the patient, and he died. She says it took him too long to die and she got bored waiting.

Restaurant
Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: KiwiBloke

Posted on July 1, 2015
Death & dying, Family, Health & Hygiene, New Zealand, Questions

The Kind Of Boy Who Grows Up to Be President

Eight-year-old boy playing Nintendo: Die! Die! Diediediediediediedie!
Older brother: Isn't that a little violent?
Eight-year-old: I'm goddam Kirby! I can do anything I want!

Houston, Texas

Posted on June 24, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Family, Games, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Questions, Texas, Violence

That's the Olive Garden's Call-Ahead Policy, Ma'am

Loud girl on cell: No embalming for me! I just wanna rot!

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on June 13, 2015
Death & dying, Girls, On the phone, Washington, DC, Wishes

Yeah, and I’m Not Sure He Has an Exit Strategy

Little girl: Where’s Ben*?
Father: He’s in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!

Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL

Posted on June 7, 2015
Dads, Death & dying, Euphemisms, Feelings, Florida, Girls, Kids, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

It's Important to Have Something to Look Forward to

Elderly woman #1: How's your mother?
Elderly woman #2: She's great! She wants to get euthanized!

Chappaqua, New York

Posted on June 2, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Health & Hygiene, New York, Questions, Women

Genesis Suggests the Lord Had Second Thoughts

Psychology professor, speaking of horrible deaths in the French Revolution: People are terrible…they should have never been invented.

Rutgers University
Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: Person

Posted on December 7, 2014
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, History, Murder, New Jersey, Students, Teachers, Wishes

In the Meantime All of Our Popsicles Taste Like Mr. Waggles

Prof: So, how's everything at home?
Italian cafe worker: My dog died.
Prof: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Was he old?
Italian cafe worker: Yes. But I can't bury him. The ground is frozen. There's snow.
Prof: You could have him cremated.
Italian cafe worker: I have him in my freezer. I had to clear it out, my freezer. All the food is out. I'm going to keep him there 'til mud season when I can bury him in the backyard.
Prof: Oh.

Landmark College
Putney, Vermont

Posted on December 1, 2014
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Teachers, Vermont, Weather, Weirdness

Do Shut Up and Finish Your Propofol, Darling

Seven-year-old boy: How did Michael Jackson die?
Mother: He had too many tablets and his heart stopped.
Seven-year-old boy: I'd like that to happen to Justin Bieber.

Hertfordshire
England

Overheard by: Corbin

Posted on November 27, 2014
About celebrities, Death & dying, England, Kids, Moms, Questions, Wishes

Death & dying