Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy: In the washing machine, and the birds just keep opening their mouths because they're stupid, so they keep getting bigger…
Los Angeles, California
Pastor, during sermon: You never know what's gonna come outta somethin' till you squeeze it.
Methodist Church
Port Norris, New Jersey
Overheard by: stunned organist
Girl: I saw two penises on Saturday.
Outside Airport, Yellowknife
Northwest Territories
Canadia
Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: nayvera
Academic-type Oxford guy: You have such silky hair.
American girl: Thanks…
Academic-type Oxford guy: You could weave a garment out of it!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Catherine
Girl walking through campus: I can't believe you, I'm sitting in my living room in nothing but a towel, with mascara streaming down my face and you don't even care!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: You sit on a throne of lies
Girl #1: I was watching tv last night, and this girl was prostituting herself to pay for med school…
Girl #2: That is such a good idea!
UC Berkeley, California
Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.
Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Irate eight-year-old, daughter about younger brother: Mommy, Jeff is spanking me again!
Out-of-patience mom: What have I told you two? No spanking! (quietly to husband) Only daddy can spank.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
