Guy: And then I was skipping down the street naked. I put my underpants back on after the girl realized that I wasn't wearing anything, though.
Portsmouth, Rhode Island
Guy: And then I was skipping down the street naked. I put my underpants back on after the girl realized that I wasn't wearing anything, though.
Portsmouth, Rhode Island
Professor on cell: And two students speak at the same time, completely disagreeing with each other. So I just shout “fight!”
University of Oregon
20-something girl on cell: I'm sunburnt, drunk, and Asian, so why not? Why not?
The Wildcat Lounge
Santa Barbara, California
Girl to friend: Yeah, you know, I just don't really think he's the duct-taping type…
Boulder, Colorado
Kid #1: Yo, man! You're missin' somethin'.”
Kid #2: What?
Kid #1: Yeah, you look weird now that you got a haircut.
Kid #2: Huh?
Kid #1: You need to get some earrings!
SUNY
Old Westbury, New York
Guy: So, I tore my ACL.
Over-enthusiastic friend: Tell ’em how you did it!
Guy: Masturbating!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Victoria
Guy #1: I love getting Lisa* Taco Bell.
Guy #2: Why’s that?
Guy #1: It’s gonna get her fat! I’m going to get extra sour cream and she’s going to be all like: “Damn, this is delicious!” Meanwhile, she’ll be getting fat.
Kangaroo
Gainesville, Florida
Angry girl in bank drive-through, on phone: Hey, bitch! That girl you had me with last night? Her cunt tasted like fish!
Bank teller: (speechless)
Coralville, Iowa
Overheard by: KC
Asian guy: I hate going there. There’s too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Kunoichi
Girl: Did you see American Pie last night?
Guy: American Pie? But that's a dirty movie, I thought you were frigid.
Girl: I am frigid but I still watch tv.
Kerry Foods
Ireland
