Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?
Hoboken, New Jersey
Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?
Hoboken, New Jersey
Tall guy: My girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend had an eight inch penis.
Younger friend girl: What!? Why would she tell you that?!
Tall guy: I guess she just thought I should know.
Younger friend girl: No, here’s a better question. Why would you tell me that!?
Chick-fil-A
Houston, Texas
Female sexual predator: I have a cookie jar in my pants and the lid is always open!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/04/03/amk-warts-those-are-chocolate-chips/
40-something woman on phone: Was that the time when we made cone bras or the time when we shaved our legs with a nail file?
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Exasperated woman: I just called to say “I love you” while I had a moment to myself, okay?! Jeez! [Flushes.]
Women’s Bathroom, Bay Park Square Mall
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she’s my type of girl.
Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: a middle school slut
Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.
St. Andrew’s College
Aurora
Canadia
Little girl: My pizza is naked!
Fresh Grocer
Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania
College girl to friend: He’s a really scary driver. He’ll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I’m really, really drunk.
El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
