And You’re Not in a Relationship Just because She Says So

Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!

Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington

Posted on December 14, 2025
Advice, Default, Jocks, Questions, Relationships, Stores, Washington

And Stop Masturbating in the Shower — You’re Clogging the Drain.

Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.

Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California

Posted on December 13, 2025
Airports & flights, California, Default, Geography, Memory lane, Offers and requests, Pilots

Sometimes You Do Know What You’re Missing

Little old lady to husband: I don’t care how many times you’ve washed it or how clean it is! I’ve lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I’m not about to introduce the two of them now!

St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois

Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter

Posted on December 13, 2025
Ass, Body parts, Couples, Default, Gripes, Illinois, Licking, Old folks, Time Management

Whatever, Ms. “I’m Allergic to Sex”

Girl to friend: So, you told him you were a nun and couldn’t have friends? That’s so mean!

Chic-Fil-A
Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: jaye

Posted on December 12, 2025
Default, Girls, Gripes, North Carolina, Religion

In Between Lute Lessons

Teacher, incredulously: You never read Harold and the Purple Crayon?!
Student: Well, sorry, I was reading Machiavelli.

http://overheardinhighschool.blogspot.com/

Posted on December 12, 2025
Books, Comebacks, Default, Gripes, Overheard in High School, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers

Where to Begin?

Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: aharon

Posted on December 11, 2025
Christianity, Couples, Default, Idiots, Language barrier, Ohio, Stores, Stupidity

… Than of Ever Tanning without Burning

Suit: Yeah, right, I’ve got a better chance of shaking hands with the Lord… And I’m a Jew.

Keene, New Hampshire

Posted on December 11, 2025
Compare and contrast, Default, New Hampshire, Religion, Suits

None of the Races Are Much of a Bargain

Asian girl: I hate being Asian!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/29/asians-of-the-jewish-persuasion/

Overheard by:

Posted on December 10, 2025
Asians, Canadia, Default, Girls, Gripes, Overheard at McGill, Race

Especially If He Were Standing Next to Me with a Machete

Guy on phone: I don’t vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot… Well, yeah, if it was ‘Killer,’ then I’d definitely vote for him.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/06/but-would-you-vote-for-pokey.html

Overheard by:

Posted on December 10, 2025
Default, Eavesdrop DC, Gripes, Guys, Names, On the phone, Politics, Washington, DC

The Answer Was Both Better and Worse Than They Anticipated

Coworker #1: I don’t even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don’t, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.

Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: also interested

Posted on December 9, 2025
Coworkers, Default, Fashion, Health & Hygiene, Penis, Questions, Utah

Default