Reformed health nut: If I were to eat a stick of butter, I’d roll it in salt.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/man-with-plan-not-good-one-but-plan.html
Overheard by: tim
Reformed health nut: If I were to eat a stick of butter, I’d roll it in salt.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/man-with-plan-not-good-one-but-plan.html
Overheard by: tim
Fruit fly: Does he like me?! I think he might, but if he doesn’t… He has to know that I like him! Or am I being too obvious?
Queer friend: Ugh! Heterosexual relationships make me queasy!
Montreal
Canadia
Mother: So, what did you learn at nursery today?
Excited four-year-old girl: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck-fuck!
Mother: Every time you say that, one of Santa’s elves dies, you know.
London
England
Professor: So, you see, the barns were directly beneath the houses, and the people and the animals had a very, very intimate relationship for many years. Very intimate.
Jock: Niiice [high fives jock friend].
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: chroma the great
Chick: Man, I hate vacations! I always end up over-packing, and then I never get laid!
Kingston
Jamaica
Chick on cell: Well, they had their flaws, but you know what I mean… I was thinking about Mike last night. Oh, how I would like to get back with him now that I’m kind of looking for a relationship and he’s not on speed anymore…
Oklahoma
Girl on phone: I mean, his body was the best thing about him… Wait, that’s mean. I meant, physically his body was the best thing about him.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Professor: It’s like when you walk into a bathroom with a corpse in the tub and go, ‘Wow, just look at that tile pattern!’
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Four-year-old boy: So, girls have ‘ginas, and boys have penises?
Mom: Um, yes, hon.
Four-year-old boy: You have a ‘gina?
Mom: Yes, honey. Shhh.
Four-year-old boy: Girls at school have ‘ginas? Teachers have ‘ginas?
Mom: Yes, honey. Now shush.
Four-year-old boy, contemplating: I always wanted to see one of those.
Phoenix, Arizona
