Young ice cream customer: I'm going to get a large sundae.
Competitive young ice cream customer: Oh, yeah? I once had a sundae that was so big it was…it was… (thinks about it) up to the top of Jesus!
Dairy Queen
Victoria
Canadia
Overheard by: bemused in Dairy Queen
Drunk teenage boy: Heyyy, ssssuuuuupp, buddd… (stumbles away)
Sober teenage boy: I guess he's too drunk to notice that we're not friends.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Glamorous blonde mother, curiously: Did I pay you enough attention as a child?
Dark haired alternative daughter: Um…how do you mean?
Glamorous blonde mother: Did I not hug you enough?
Daughter: Why?
Glamorous blonde mother: Well, you're not…well…not very mainstream are you?
Daughter, in shock: Well, if there's anything wrong with me, it's your fault, isn't it!
Liverpool
England
Bartender to limping girl entering bar: Are you limping? Oh my god! What happened?
Limping girl: Damn, you weren't here last night, I was hoping you'd tell me!
Washington, DC
Teacher to students: And then you thought we were going to an imaginary place…but it was Louisiana!
High School English Class
Sweden
Overheard by: It was real?
Girl in restroom #1: I just found an eyelash in my bellybutton!
Girl in restroom #2: Is it yours?
Girl in restroom #1: Yeah…I think.
Auburn University Student Union
Auburn, Alabama
Hot girl: I've spent so much on condoms since I got here that I think it would be cheaper to just have the damn kids by now.
Westwood, California
Woman: You should shop at Lane Bryant!
Girl: Mom, that's a fat girls store!
Woman: I shopped there when I was 17, and you're much fatter that I was!
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
Sober teen: The mall is, like, all about clothes now.
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Sven Johnson
Small boy with ice cream cone, trying to get mom's attention: I peed my pants! I peed my pants! Mommy, listen to me, I peed my pants!
Mom, deadpan: I bet that's real uncomfortable for you.
Dad to son: When we get home we are just gonna have to hose you down.
Son to dad: Oh yeah, make me lay on the yard and then spray the hose on me, and on my penis, and down my pants on my penis!
Boy's brother, from minivan: Ew! You can spell the pee!
Bucks County, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: free birth control
