Just Don't Expect It to Say Your Name

English professor: Make that language your bitch.

Ursinus College
Pennsylvania

Posted on March 16, 2009
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Insults, Pennsylvania, Teachers, Words

In High School I Got So Depressed, I Dated Girls

Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)

West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Big Al

Posted on March 15, 2009
California, Candy, Cell phones, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Guys, Queers

The Female Version Of “She Was Asking for It”

Woman on iPhone: Well, he was doing squats, so I didn't think it was inappropriate to stare at his ass.

Trader Joe's
Campbell, California

Posted on March 15, 2009
Ass, California, Default, Health & Hygiene, Stores, Weirdness, Women

And It Wasn't Easy Being Green

Trophy wife, very sincerely: I think that in a past life…I was Ralph Nader.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick

Posted on March 15, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Names, Politics, Women

From Nancy Drew and the Mystery Of the Bumpy Undies

Girl #1: Hey! I still have your bra from the other night. (takes bra out of her bag and hands it over)
Girl #2: Oh yeah, thanks! Wait, it has bumps in it! It didn't have bumps in it before!
Girl #1: Yeah, I wore it. It was cleaner than mine.
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: Uh…no, of course I didn't wear it!
Girl #2: Well, someone did. With bumpy boobs. It didn't have bumps before.

Queen Street Mall
Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: uh-huh

Posted on March 15, 2009
Australia, Body parts, Clothes, Default, Girls, Malls, Weirdness

Let's Milk This Country for All It's Worth!

Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!

Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California

Posted on March 14, 2009
California, Default, Food, Foreigners, Geography, Guys, Offers and requests, Tourist attractions

How Close to the Burger Should We Bring the Cheese?

Middle aged woman: Can I get a cheeseburger, without the cheese?

Burger King
Dansville, New York

Posted on March 14, 2009
Default, Food, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

Like the Holocaust

Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.

Point Comfort, Texas

Posted on March 13, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Names, People, Texas, Weirdness

Tonight's Movie: Dude, Where's My Common Sense?

Dude #1: So did you fuck that chick after we left the other night?
Dude #2 (glancing around to make sure no one's listening): Yeah.
Dude #1: Yes! I knew it!
Dude #2: Dude, I didn't even know what was going on until I came outta my blackout, and realized I was balls deep.
Dude #1: Condom?
Dude #2: (shakes head)
Dude #1: Yes!

Toons Bar
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 13, 2009
Balls, Bars & Clubs, Condoms, Default, Guys, Illinois, Questions, Sex

And Check Whether It's Honorable or Dishonorable

Girl to friend wearing a short skirt: Ooooooh girl, if you bend over I could see all your discharge!

Ikea Parking Lot
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: The Rex

Posted on March 13, 2009
Clothes, Default, Euphemisms, Florida, Girls, Stores, Words

Default