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Guy #1, leaving the bar: I’ll see you later.
Guy #2, still nursing his drink: Yeah, if I don’t die first.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: molly

Girl: Dude! Satan is in the store! He’s trying on lingerie.

Victoria’s Secret
Bakersfield, California

Girl #1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz! Here, eat some so I’m not the only one.
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don’t want to be the only one!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/01/you-dont-even-want-to-try-the-terriyaki/

Overheard by:

Planned parenthood speaker: Who wants some condoms?
Class, in unison: Your mom.

High school assembly
Englewood, Colorado

Chick: I’m like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!

Denver, Colorado

Male stripper: … And I was doing this chick up the ass, and, I mean, it was awesome, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow I was being incredibly rude.

Generator Hostel
London
England

Overheard by: Backpacker Whisperer

Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.

Chambersburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: gidgetgirl

American history professor: Whoever is writing ‘vah-jay-jay’ instead of ‘Virginia’ in the notes they are submitting, please stop.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Announcement over PA system: If any patients have left their shoes in reception, please come and collect them before they are destroyed.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/19000.html

Overheard by:

Boy: I wish everything in the world was made of chocolate.
Grandfather: That would sure be interesting!
Boy: Yeah. Then I could eat my brother…

Waterford, Michigan

Overheard by: Gary Lewis