Frat guy to others: I can't believe I puked all over her tits last night. I was so fucking drunk.
University District
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Yujin
Frat guy to others: I can't believe I puked all over her tits last night. I was so fucking drunk.
University District
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Yujin
Girl #1: And everyone was like, “What? This isn't what was on the study sheet! This test is unfair! We're so confused!”
Girl #2: Oh, wow. Were you confused, too?
Girl #1: No, I didn't look at the study sheet. I went downstairs and drank a bottle of wine with you.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Flamboyant male: Fuck you, Gatorade! Fuck you!
SUNY Purchase
New York
Bartender: I've never seen someone drink ten Jägerbombs in 15 minutes before…you must be from hell.
Slightly drunk girl: No! I'm from New York. 10? That was 10? Oh, crap, 10 is a lot more than 3.
London
England
Sorority ditz: It's not that I didn't want to do the homework, I was just too drunk.
USC
Columbia, South Carolina
Frat boy on cell: I am going to get so wasted! I'm going to get wasted on water. I will drink so much water that I'll be like, “Ahhh, I'm drowning in water!” I will be that fucking drunk, bro. With water!
Michigan State University
Guy #1: That Coke you're drinking is about three years old.
Guy #2: (spits out soda)
Guy #1: And that beer's at least eight years old.
Guy #2: What are you running here? A beverage museum?
Chicago, Illinois
Professor: The floor's getting further away the older I get, but there's always Jack Daniels and Percocet.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: hopes he never gets THAT old
Guy on urinal on the phone: Yeah, let slip the dogs of war…protein. No truer words have ever been spoken…Shakespeare didn't know shit… (farts loudly) Fuck! (farts again) Fuck. Energy drinks…I'm outta here.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Assumed alcoholic: You didn't have alcohol. One beer isn't alcohol. Six beer is alcohol!
St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia
