Drunk episcopal priest in wine cellar: Yes! Yes! Science fiction is like religion, only backwards!
Penn Yan, New York
Overheard by: Liz
Drunk episcopal priest in wine cellar: Yes! Yes! Science fiction is like religion, only backwards!
Penn Yan, New York
Overheard by: Liz
Math professor: Coming home drunk at 3 am and grading calculus papers is a great way to learn calculus.
Southern Methodist University
Dallas, Texas
Girl sucking down Smirnoff Ice: The longer I look at my engagement ring, the smaller the diamond gets…
Berklee Performing Arts Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Nurse #1: How was your weekend?
Nurse #2: It was great, except Heather* got kind of wild. I mean I've never seen anyone be…first drink they're fine, second drink they're fine, third drink they're naked and pole dancing.
Nurse #1, shaking head: Wow.
Nurse #2: Yeah, it was probably a mistake to go drinking at the bar she used to work at.
Heather*: I don't remember any of it, but when I got home my bra was filled with twenties.
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Professor to 20-something assistants, about sighting them at a bar: So, I thought I saw you the other night, but I wasn't sure because I thought that all you do is type.
UC Merced
Merced, California
Overheard by: Seriously?
Four-year-old boy, excitedly, as he and his family are being seated: Beer! Beer! Dad, they have beer here!
El Metate Mexican Restaurant
Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee
Overheard by: Mrs. H.
Father on phone to wife: No, it was at dinner, and then this drunk at the next table made a comment about our son. No. He said Josh looked like “a retarded page from the dark ages.” That's not funny. (long pause) I'll schedule him for a haircut tomorrow.
Pennsylvania
Girl: I'm not going to have fun because I'm going to be sober…and whiny!
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Captain, over intercom, after lights go out: You are getting veeeery sleeeeeepy… You do not want peaaanuts… You do not want soooodaaa… You just want to sleeeep until we laaaaand.
Southwest Airlines Flight over California
Overheard by: Andrew
Student girl on phone: They made me drink loads of alcohol out of a massive bucket. It was beer and vodka all mixed together. Yeah, and then all the lads stripped off and started dancing on the tables, and they started smearing the curry on their naked bodies. It was awful, but I ended up going home with one of them, he's a rugby player.
Cambridge
England
Overheard by: Gemma
