20-something girl to gay male friend: It really creeps me out when you call me “grandma” when we do drugs together.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: MuffinW
20-something girl to gay male friend: It really creeps me out when you call me “grandma” when we do drugs together.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: MuffinW
Cop #1: C’mon, c’mon, admit it!
Cop #2: Fine! I wish I was on OxyContin right now, okay?!
San Rafael, California
Overheard by: Alex Silver
Guy #1: Dude, you look tired today.
Guy #2: Nope, just stoned.
Guy #1: Oh, true.
Religion class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Girl #1: What kind of drugs were you on?
Girl #2: I wasn't on drugs!
Girl #1: What kind of drugs do you want to be on?
Girl #2: What kind of drugs do you have?
Girl #1: I have the morning after pill.
Girl #2: That's not a drug.
Girl #1: Yes it is, it kills babies.
Escondido, California
Mother to son: I’m not sure, but I think grandma was high.
Union Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Seska
Girl #1: Why did they all look at you like you were on heroin?
Girl #2: I don't know. I always act like I am on heroin, but I just take Xanax.
Mall
Virginia
Grungy young man, after loudly prattling on about drinking 12 Smirnoffs a day, weed, and massage therapy: I didn't believe in the inner-spiritual plane until I saw my unborn child's soul whisked away.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Defense lawyer, teaching trial advocacy: But remember that in real life, nobody charged with marijuana possession is actually going to go to trial.
Law student: Last summer when I was working at the legal clinic I had a client who was charged with possession go to trial!
Defense lawyer: What? In fifteen years of practice, I've never seen it go to trial.
Law student: Yeah, the prosecutor was being a dick about it too–he wanted jail time.
Defense lawyer: Who was the prosecutor? Tell me his name, I'll tell you if I ever got high with him.
Law School
Canadia
Overheard by: Law student
Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…
Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas
