Very drunk 20-something guy: Honestly, I get a pulse in my dick when I talk to you. I'm going to fuck you tonight.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman: Oh yeah?
Very drunk 20-something guy: I'm so hard right now… Have a feel.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman, grabbing hold of his crotch: You're totally flaccid.
(very drunk 20-something bursts into hysterical laughter)
Nightclub
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Slightly drunk chick, peering into drink: I think my cat is gay.
Really drunk friend: Hey, heyyyy…
Slightly drunk chick: Or maybe he's just a slut.
The Backdoor
Louisville, Kentucky
Drunk girl: Sometimes I think I'm an alcoholic, but then I watch Intervention and I realize I'm just a love machine.
Syracuse University, New York
Drunk girl #1: I can’t date him — he’s a vegetarian. You can’t trust vegetarians.
Drunk girl #2: You’re just saying that ’cause that vegetarian guy you dated last semester raped you. He was also Jewish. You should hate the Jews — you’d have more company! [Drunk girl #1 leaves, upset.] I don’t know what her problem is.
Georgetown
Washington, DC
Drunk girl: ‘Fuck’ is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: ‘Fuck’ is not your favorite word. ‘Fuck’ is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: ‘Some of the time’ is my favorite word! [Falls over.]
Dorm room
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too
Drunk girl: I hope I get my ass kicked for eating this salad!
Houston, Texas
Very drunk girl, loudly and excitedly: That was the longest pee I ever did! Like seriously, I went into the bathroom and started peeing. Gavin came in, washed his hands, then left, and I was still peeing!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Mandy
Man, indicating the used wedding dress he's wearing: This was the best $35 I've ever spent. I mean, I could have spent it on Jägermeister!
Old Railroad Square
Santa Rosa, California
Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
Drunk girl, burying head into boyfriend's arm: I'm upset with my mother. She expects me to take care of me.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Fallon
