I’m Not Allowed to Use Them at Home

Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.

South Dakota State University
South Dakota

Posted on January 21, 2016
Animals, Body parts, Class, Creepsters, Education, Science, South Dakota, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

But, in the Future, Please Confine Your Questions to Topics in English Literature

Professor: And so in REM sleep you'll get penile erection and vaginal lubrication. You know, the fun stuff. (class laughs) Well, your eyes aren't the only things that are moving!

York University
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: studious student

Posted on January 18, 2016
Canadia, Education, Penis, Sex, Teachers, Vagina

Though Not As Shitty As If You Had Rampant Syphilis. Trust Me.

Biology professor: This Friday I'm going to talk about STIs, and you're all going to have a shitty weekend.

Alton, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on January 14, 2016
Education, Illinois, STDs, Teachers, Threats

Aced It!

Girl, after US history exam: How did you do on the essays?
Serious boy: Well, I drew hand turkeys on three pages of the answer booklet, and on the fourth I drew a picture of Samuel Glompers riding a tortoise while holding a marble cake.

High School Gymnasium
West Palm Beach, Florida

Posted on January 8, 2016
Animals, Default, Education, Florida, Food, Girls, Guys, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Or Come To Office Hours and I'll Show You

80-something religious studies professor: Do you all know what circumcision is? (class stares at him) Okay. Well, if you don't, don't ask here. Wait for an appropriate time and ask a friend outside of class.

Canisius College
Buffalo, New York

Posted on December 30, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Health & Hygiene, New York, Old folks, Questions, Teachers

On the Plus Side, Now I Get to Try Out My New Paddle.

Professor: So where does the blood go then?
Student: The heart?
Professor: Good answer, too bad it's wrong.

Gold Coast
Australia

Posted on December 16, 2015
Australia, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers

Um, Why Does Your Sippy Cup Smell Like Martini?

Two-year-old, holding plastic dinosaur up to ear: Uh-huh, mommy, it's been a really hard day.
Teacher: It's been a hard day, huh?
Two-year-old: Excuse me, I'm on the phone!

Preschool
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on December 8, 2015
Colorado, Education, Kids, Teachers, Weirdness

And It’s Important to Know About Paula Abdul’s Career Trajectory

Student: If none of this is going to be on the exam, why are we devoting a class to it?
Professor: Because I find it interesting, and you have to listen to me.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on December 6, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil

English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.

Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyssa

Posted on November 27, 2015
Books, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Education, Frat boy types, Murder, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers, Zombies

…for Your Final Project.

Spanish professor: Fuck Spanish.

Indiana University

Overheard by: Mierdita

Posted on November 16, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Indiana, Sex, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Education