Charleton Heston Was Quickly Reincarnated

Three-year-old boy (enthusiastically): When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
Three-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
Three-year-old boy: And a machine gun!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/304115855/some-problems-require-a-machine-gun.html

Overheard by: wayzata

Posted on July 11, 2015
Crimes, Death & dying, Default, Education, Kids, Murder, Overheard in Minneapolis, Teachers

Times Are Tough in Michigan, Dear Reader

Architect, describing high school renovations to student body: And these will be new bathrooms.
Boy: Fuck yeah! New bathrooms!
(thunderous applause)

St. Joseph, Michigan

Posted on July 8, 2015
Bosses, Education, Feelings, Michigan, Weirdness

…Unless My Cousin's Available.

Nerdy-looking teenage boy: No way, going to the school dance with a partner seriously decreases my chances of getting laid.

Outside School
Washington, DC

Posted on July 7, 2015
Dancing, Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Teens, Washington, DC

…But Isn't That Why I'm Here?

Cheerful student: Cheer up! It's going to be okay.
Glum professor: Says who? You?
Cheerful student: Yes!
Glum professor: But you don't know anything.
Cheerful student: True!

UC Berkeley School of Journalism
California

Posted on July 4, 2015
Advice, Class, Education, Feelings, Grumpies, Students

…So No Standards Apply to You

Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.

www.overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: Overheard at Yale

Posted on July 4, 2015
Black people, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Overheard at Yale, Race, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Whiteys

Probably the Funniest Thing Ever Uttered in a Statistics Class

Indian professor with thick accent: Okay class. If I flip this coin 50 times, what is the probability that I get head?
Dude in the back: Man, I could flip a coin 100 times and I'm still not gettin' head.
(class bursts into hysterical laughter)
Indian professor: What? What did I say?

Statistics Class, George Washington University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 2, 2015
BJs, Class, Default, Education, Guys, Questions, Students, Teachers, Washington, DC

I Was Going to Say, “Masturbate to Climax”

History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue…I’m sure he couldn’t even…
[Class snickers.]History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!

Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on July 1, 2015
Age and ageing, Class, Colorado, Education, Gripes, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Teens

This Optometrist Asked Me to Identify Letters Of the Alphabet

Girl #1: Did you have to take a test in high school to prove that you weren't retarded?
Girl #2: Uh, no.
Girl #1: Oh…I did.

Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: JSW

Posted on July 1, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, Stupidity

How “What What (In the Butt)” Was Born

Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?

School Classroom
Australia

Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….

Posted on June 29, 2015
Australia, Class, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Teachers, Words

Unless You Could Find Some Cute Coveralls

Blonde teenage girl #1: If I don't get asked to prom I might just drop out of school and become a mechanic.
Blonde teenage girl #2: I know… that would suck.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/267312131/high-school-problems-are-the-most-important-problems-youll-ever-face.html

Overheard by: high school

Posted on June 28, 2015
Education, Girls, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Overheard in Minneapolis, Teens

Education