Something Was Put in That Wasn’t There Before?

Wide-eyed girl #1 exiting class: Did he just–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #1: But wha–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –I feel dirty.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #2: Do you… Uh, wait.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Did we just get mind-fucked?
Wide-eyed girl #2: I think so.

Arkansas State University
Jonesboro, Arkansas

Overheard by: What the hell just happened?!

Posted on July 15, 2015
Arkansas, Colleges & Universities, Education, Students

I've Provided You All with Maps to Denny's and the Free Clinic

Professor: Okay, so everyone get your papers out. If you don't have your papers here with you then you can just leave. (class mumbles in disgust) That's right, take the walk of shame. Like you just got laid at a frat party, take the walk of shame.

Miami University
Florida

Posted on July 14, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Feelings, Florida, Offers and requests

You Altar Boys Know What I'm Talking About

English professor: I know what you're thinking. Two pages! I can write that with half a bottle of whiskey in me and my hands tied behind my back!

Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on July 14, 2015
Class, Drinking & drunks, Education, Students, Teachers, Wisconsin

See? You're Obviously a New Yorker!

Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.

Cambridge
England

Overheard by: TopCat

Posted on July 13, 2015
Education, England, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Insults, Race, Stupidity, Words

Whatever I Can’t Get from Miss Cleo, Anyway.

Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.

University of Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…

Posted on July 13, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Internet, Philosophy, Science, Students, Teachers

I Also Learned How to Do the Time Warp!

Little girl: I learned how to make a man!
Mom: A man?!
Little girl: Yes!
Mom: Did you learn that in school?
Little girl: Yes.
Mom: Can you make one for me?

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Mollena

Posted on July 13, 2015
Default, Education, Kids, Moms, New York, Pregnancy

Hey, Loaf Quilting Is the Wave of the Future

Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?

English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri

Posted on July 12, 2015
Default, Education, Missouri, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Teens, Words

Charleton Heston Was Quickly Reincarnated

Three-year-old boy (enthusiastically): When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
Three-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
Three-year-old boy: And a machine gun!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/304115855/some-problems-require-a-machine-gun.html

Overheard by: wayzata