English professor: I know what you're thinking. Two pages! I can write that with half a bottle of whiskey in me and my hands tied behind my back!
Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
English professor: I know what you're thinking. Two pages! I can write that with half a bottle of whiskey in me and my hands tied behind my back!
Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.
Cambridge
England
Overheard by: TopCat
Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…
Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?
English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Three-year-old boy (enthusiastically): When I get home, I’m going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don’t think you should do that.
Three-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
Three-year-old boy: And a machine gun!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/304115855/some-problems-require-a-machine-gun.html
Overheard by: wayzata
Nerdy-looking teenage boy: No way, going to the school dance with a partner seriously decreases my chances of getting laid.
Outside School
Washington, DC
Cheerful student: Cheer up! It's going to be okay.
Glum professor: Says who? You?
Cheerful student: Yes!
Glum professor: But you don't know anything.
Cheerful student: True!
UC Berkeley School of Journalism
California
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
