Or Should I Buy a Sock to Stick in It?

Whiny three-year-old: Mom! I'm hungry! I'm huuuungryyyyy!
Mother (calmly, without missing a beat): Well, you should probably shut up.

Target
Wausau, Wisconsin

Posted on September 24, 2015
Advice, Default, Food, Kids, Moms, Wisconsin, Women

He Fucks an American for Breakfast, an American for Lunch, and Has a Sensible Dinner?

Very drunk 20-something in kebab shop: I'll have… a large chips… with ketchup… and mayonnaise. (pause) A quarter pounder cheese and bacon burger with extra cheese and bacon. Two pieces of fried chicken… with chili sauce… and a ten-inch pepperoni pizza.
Sober friend #1: Fucking hell, mate, that's a lot of food…
Sober friend #2: Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?
Kebab shop guy, in heavy Cypriot accent: Yeah! He's on a fucking American diet!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on September 18, 2015
Diet & weight, Drunks, England, Food, Friends, Shopping

And Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal Of the Day

Girl on cell: So he was like, “I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there.” and I was like, “Fuck Brian. I make better waffles.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on September 14, 2015
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Insults, Massachusetts, On the phone

I Was All, “You, Sir, Are Morelly Suspect.”

Pretentious woman with boyfriend to stranger: That's interesting, because he just had a guy try to sell him fake morels.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Ken

Posted on September 5, 2015
Food, Oregon, Shopping, Weirdness, Women

Don’t Trust Skinny People with Your Food

Skinny guy #1: I’m thinking our restaurant should have, like, taxidermied animals and tomato plants and stuff.
Skinny guy #2: Way cool!
Skinny guy #1: That way it could be like a museum of natural history full of the things people are eating, living or dead.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/business-plan.html

Overheard by: rich

Posted on September 4, 2015
Airports & flights, Animals, Default, Food, Guys, Oregon, Overheard in PDX, Skinny people, Wishes

…I'm Saving That for Marriage.

Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 28, 2015
Body parts, Couples, Feelings, Food, New Jersey, Weirdness

So of Course I'm Bummed That They'll All Burn in a Lake of Hellfire

Mormon girl: When I grow up, I want to celebrate Chanukah! I mean, I just like Jews. I like Jew food, Jew noses, Jew hair styles… Oh my gosh, I love those curly bangs! I just want to pull one and watch it go “sproinnnnng!”

IHOP
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: I'm Jewish, but surprisingly NOT offended…