You Can Feel Their Effects for Thousands of Years

Freshman: Are Arby’s sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby’s sandwiches are Jesus Christ!

Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona

Posted on October 6, 2015
Advice, Arizona, Compare and contrast, Food, Jesus, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teens

But at Least She Throws It Up

Queer on cell: Stop it. She’s too chicken to be anorexic. It’s like, she’ll starve herself for two days, then eat a huge cookie.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 5, 2015
California, Default, Food, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Queers

How Ken Maintains That Orange Tan

Blonde: There was a Ken doll encased in jello in the fridge.

Pocket Sandwich Theater
Dallas, Texas

Posted on October 4, 2015
Default, Food, Girls, Pop culture, Texas, Weirdness

Hey, Girls Just Wanna Have Funyuns.

Woman coming out of convenience store: They ain't got no Funyuns in there!
Man standing outside store: You got a bad attitude! I'ma put you in yo' place with ya old ass!

Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Flying Burrito

Posted on October 2, 2015
Food, Guys, Insults, Louisiana, Women

Or Should I Buy a Sock to Stick in It?

Whiny three-year-old: Mom! I'm hungry! I'm huuuungryyyyy!
Mother (calmly, without missing a beat): Well, you should probably shut up.

Target
Wausau, Wisconsin

Posted on September 24, 2015
Advice, Default, Food, Kids, Moms, Wisconsin, Women

He Fucks an American for Breakfast, an American for Lunch, and Has a Sensible Dinner?

Very drunk 20-something in kebab shop: I'll have… a large chips… with ketchup… and mayonnaise. (pause) A quarter pounder cheese and bacon burger with extra cheese and bacon. Two pieces of fried chicken… with chili sauce… and a ten-inch pepperoni pizza.
Sober friend #1: Fucking hell, mate, that's a lot of food…
Sober friend #2: Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?
Kebab shop guy, in heavy Cypriot accent: Yeah! He's on a fucking American diet!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on September 18, 2015
Diet & weight, Drunks, England, Food, Friends, Shopping

And Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal Of the Day

Girl on cell: So he was like, “I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there.” and I was like, “Fuck Brian. I make better waffles.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on September 14, 2015
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Insults, Massachusetts, On the phone

I Was All, “You, Sir, Are Morelly Suspect.”

Pretentious woman with boyfriend to stranger: That's interesting, because he just had a guy try to sell him fake morels.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Ken

Posted on September 5, 2015
Food, Oregon, Shopping, Weirdness, Women

Don’t Trust Skinny People with Your Food

Skinny guy #1: I’m thinking our restaurant should have, like, taxidermied animals and tomato plants and stuff.
Skinny guy #2: Way cool!
Skinny guy #1: That way it could be like a museum of natural history full of the things people are eating, living or dead.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/business-plan.html

Overheard by: rich

Posted on September 4, 2015
Airports & flights, Animals, Default, Food, Guys, Oregon, Overheard in PDX, Skinny people, Wishes

…I'm Saving That for Marriage.

Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 28, 2015
Body parts, Couples, Feelings, Food, New Jersey, Weirdness