Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Middle-aged woman: The last thing I want to do is get hit by a giant Tastycake!
Princeton, New Jersey
Brunette: I'm like a total vegetarian. Except I like chicken, and beef. And sometimes I eat bacon with my breakfast.
Blonde: Are you for real?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Vastly Amused
College girl: And spectacularly, there is cheese.
Denver, Colorado
American dude: Approximately 90% of the wheat bread in the world is consumed by homosexuals.
Outdoor Cafe
Amsterdam
Netherlands
Overheard by: Ladle
Stoner: If I had a brother–and he and your sister got married– I would go over to their house all the time, and eat their food.
Great Falls, Montana
Teacher: If you could be any vegetable, what would you be?
Random black student: I'd be a strawberry.
University of Florida
Overheard by: amused greatly
Year 8 student #1: So basically, if you stick your fingers up there, take them out and lick them, it tastes like strawberries!
Year 8 student #2: Cooooool!
Perth Modern School
Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: Hannah
Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?
Washington, DC
