I Preferred the Chef Boyardee Phase

Girl: My cooter smells like Zoodles…

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 8, 2008
Canadia, Default, Food, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Sensory experiences, Vagina

Like Everything Else in England

Customer: Excuse me, why is your “chocolate mud pie” the only dessert on the menu not labeled “vegetarian”?
Waitress: That's because it has cream in it.
Customer: Your other desserts have cream in them and are labeled “vegetarian”!
Waitress: Yeah well, the cream in the chocolate mud pie is made from meat.

London
England

Posted on September 2, 2008
Customers, Default, England, Food, Stupidity, Women

'Cause Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut?

Asian chick: I don't even like pecan pie. Do you?
White chick: I love it!
(long pause)
Asian chick: Why are we friends?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Virginia

Posted on August 28, 2008
Asians, Chicks, Default, Feelings, Food, New Jersey, Questions

Really Came in Handy When I Gave Birth to a Baby Bird

20-something girl (stocking groceries): Oh! I remember when my mom used to make it for me. It was delicious. She made it while I was pregnant… I'd eat it and every morning I'd throw it all back up. It was still delicious coming back up!

Norwalk, California

Overheard by: who wishes he hadn't heard it while grocery shopping

Posted on August 21, 2008
California, Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Memory lane

You Just Wanted an Excuse to Punch a Sandwich, Didn't You?

College guy: He's going to be the kind of teacher who punches his kids' sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly? I don't think so! Peanut butter and smush!

ECU Dining Hall
Greenville, North Carolina

Posted on August 18, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Guys, North Carolina, Violence

We Don't Make These Up

Annoying daughter: Ewww, don't order broccoli pizza. That's gross!
White trash mom: Smell my armpit.
Annoying daughter: Okay!
White trash mom: Here, smell this one too.

Roma Pizza
Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: grossed out

Posted on August 13, 2008
Default, Etiquette, Food, Gripes, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Restaurants

…Roll Videotape, Please

Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.

Radford University, Virginia

Posted on July 31, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Insults, Science, Teachers, Virginia

I Began to Feel Like a Sundae

Possibly gay barista: Caramel.
Trailer park barista: Car-mel.
Possibly gay barista: Car-a-mel.
Trailer park barista: That used to drive me nuts when I used to work here.

Robot Lodge, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Coffee Lurker

Posted on July 28, 2008
Baristas, Default, Food, Gays, Memory lane, Wisconsin, Words

Joke’s on You–I’ve Got Some in My Purse

Waitress: What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? We have French, Thousand Island and Italian.
Gorgeous blond: I’ll have Ranch.
Waitress: No.

Glenwood Springs, Colorado

Posted on July 26, 2008
Colorado, Comebacks, Customers, Default, Employees, Food, Restaurants, Women

They Tend to Appear at Random, Rather Like Elves.

Girl to friend: Well, I woke up naked, again, with a quesadilla in my bed, again, so I say it was a pretty average night.

Eclipse de Sol Restaurant
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on July 25, 2008
Default, Food, Georgia, Girls, Memory lane, Restaurants, Sex, Weirdness

Food

They Tend to Appear at Random, Rather Like Elves.