Foreigners

Guy: Hold my backpack for me.
Turkish girl: No.
Guy: If you hold my backpack for me, I'll let you into the European Union.

Middlebury College
Middlebury, Vermont

American man: Fish is good in salad.
Australian man: Fish is great in salad!
American man: Do you even like fish?
Australian man: No.

Harvard Square
Boston, Massachusetts

Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.

Starbucks
New York City, New York

Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?

Ross
Melbourne, Florida

Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!

Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California

Hispanic teenager with baby, yelling out of bus doors: You're an icy bitch!
Chinese woman, muttering loudly: Fucking immigrants.

Bus Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: another immigrant

Foreign professor: If I would be you, I would cheat.

Western Kentucky University

Foreigner: Man, there's so many foreigners here! They're everywhere!

Kyoto
Japan

Dumb girl: Oh, I love The Flintstones. How do you say “yaba-daba-do” in Portuguese?
Portuguese stud: Yaba-daba-doooooo!
Dumb girl: God, that's awesome! I love Portuguese!

Pasadena, California

Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.

Japan