Chick: So, how is the roommate situation?
Dude: It’s annoying that she is drunk all of the time. She keeps locking herself out or bringing home random guys.
Chick: Amazing that she still finds the time to be a preschool teacher.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: state worker
Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!
Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Tall, skinny kid: He's…like…suspiciously Asian.
Tall skinny friend: That's what I thought too!
Arby's
Tempe, Arizona
Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!
Toronto
Canadia
Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that’s because Maggie is a tranny.
Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Adam
Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!
Switzerland
40-something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Another chupacabra?
Queer to friend: It's pretentious, it's stupid, it sucks, and I love it.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: keeeem
Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?
Baltimore, Maryland
Girl: I hated him so much I pissed in his bed.
Guy: What happens if you really like them?
Lincoln Park, Illinois
Overheard by: olly
