Friends

Hot chick: I’m having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!

College sorostitute: Well, I thought we'd been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said “single.”
Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to…
College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid?

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Nuddles

Haughty woman: Oh yeah, he’s getting a divorce.
Friend: Why?
Haughty woman: She stalks him ever since he left. She followed him into Walgreens and tried to beat him down with a toilet scrubber!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: I would want a divorce too…

Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz festival
Belgium

Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, “Hey, this lion is Jesus!”
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!

AMC Century City

Woman to friend: I cannot even begin to tell you about the ridiculousness of yogurt.

The Gayborhood
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: inquiring mind

Loud girl to friend: Calm your nipples, bitch!

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Sarah

Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that's just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don't know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Teenage girl to friends: The groin is the eye, no?
Teen friend: The eyes are the groin of the face!
First teen: Right!

Ferry
Larkspur, California

Overheard by: I Know, I know

Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.

H&M
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: XT