Middle aged man power-walking with friend in the park: I wake up, I drink, and I smoke. Then, I go to work, come home, and drink and then smoke. You wanna know why I do this?
Friend: Why?
Middle aged man: I'm fucking depressed, that's why. So I wake up and do it all over again the next day.
Forest Park
St. Louis, Missouri
Random girl to friend: Just because I've seen your o-face doesn't mean you're attractive.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: C.S.
Bikini gal to friend: Wow! Do you ever shave? Your leg stubble just about took my eye out!
Friend: Please, I just spent $85 dollars on a Brazilian wax…look!
Bikini gal: Okay, Brittany, pull your fucking suit up! I'm just talking about your legs!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: zelph
Freshman, walking down hallway with friend: Dude, this hallway smells like the pussy I ate last night.
High School
West Bloomfield, Michigan
Student to friend: So I said, “Dude! You're the one inside the metal box!”
Harvard University Campus
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: CT girl
Guy wearing Stanford shirt: Hey, look! Manatees!
Friend: Those are polar bears.
San Diego Zoo, California
Overheard by: Dayum
Girl to friend: So, I was just walkin' along and you know what that squirrel did?
Friend: What?
Girl: It threw a nut at my head!
Southern Illinois
Tall balding guy: You know how you can eat so much and be so full that when you take a piss you can't even see your dick?
Friend: No.
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: could not stop laughing
Girl, looking at a bag of chips: How about these?
Friend checking for price: They're three dollars.
Girl, putting back the bag of chips: Dayuuummm! We don't need anything that fancy!
Grocery Store
Michigan
Overheard by: just buying some salsa.
