Girls

20-something hippie blonde: What can I say? I love humping people!

Tenley Town
Washington, DC

Teen girl to teen friends: I wish I was mixed race–not really black. I mean, you're brown all year round.

Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Johnny

Girl, to guy who just got off a ski lift: Joe? Is that you? It's Mary. We used to date!
Guy: Oh, yeah, I thought you looked familiar from behind.

Ski Resort
Tahoe, Nevada

Girl to friend: Where have you been? I haven't seen you for almost nine months!
Friend: I've been in Mexico.
Girl: Why?
Friend: Think about it…

Westwood, California

Girl reporting on date the night before: So I was good and kept my clothes on and got home at 10 am.
Guy: Wait, wait! 10 am? Don't you mean 10 pm?
Girl: Oh yeah! Sorry, force of habit!

Brunswick
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Ed Klein

Poetry girl: I've been so depressed all weekend.
Poetry guy: Well, why have you been so depressed?
Poetry girl: I wrote this poem about divorce, so I was thinking about divorce all weekend, and it just made me so depressed.
(long pause)
Poetry girl, loudly: Can you tell me about the human condition? I mean, can you really tell me about the human condition?

George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: The Bu

Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?

School Classroom
Australia

Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….

Hippie teenage girl: He's such a screaming campy queer, I thought he was gay–but he's not! At least, he doesn't seem gay when he's fucking you. He does all the rest of the time, though.

Hither Green
London
England

Overheard by: Jess

Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.

Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Mallory

Drunk man: I may not have a home, but I'm not like homeless homeless…I take showers and usually smell good.
Drunk woman: And what does this have to do with blowjobs?

Pub
Orange County, California

Overheard by: Katie