Girl in bus seat: Oh my gawd, look at all that discharge! Oh, wait, that's cum.
Houston, Texas
Girl, referring to a phallic-shaped pool toy: I would like my penis back now, thank you.
Claremont, California
Girl to guy: Most Shakespeare works could have totally been done with zombies!
Kennesaw State University, Georgia
Overheard by: Dr. Hypokrit
Guy: Hold my backpack for me.
Turkish girl: No.
Guy: If you hold my backpack for me, I'll let you into the European Union.
Middlebury College
Middlebury, Vermont
Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
Girl #1: Yeah, bananas cost less than apples.
Girl #2: No way, I'd totally choose apples over bananas.
Girl #1: Really? I'd choose bananas, they fill me up more.
Girl #2, thoughtfully: I can't open bananas.
Canadia
Girl: All you Boston niggaz suck, ya'll pussies be leaving the party at two.
Guy: Cause niggaz get shot at three.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sam
Girl: So we decided to be friends.
Friend: Wait, in real life or on Facebook?
Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: krr
