Girls

Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”

Long Branch, New Jersey

Boy to girl: Do you think a zebra feels like a horse?
Girl to boy, after brief pause: I don't think they really feel like they are horses, I think they know they are different.

Zoo
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.

Church Tag Sale
New Jersey

Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?

Columbia, Tennessee

Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.

Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado

White geek girl: I swear, if it's the goddamn Macarena, I'm gonna cap a bitch!

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

20-something guy that obviously just woke up: So, do you think we'll have enough money to apply for college later today?
20-something girlfriend, also still bed-headed and yawning: Are you kidding me? It's 5 am and we're stoned. We'll talk about this later.

Bus
Dallas, Texas

Female student #1: I think Picasso painted them as nudes to liberate women; to show that they're human beings.
Female student #2: I think he just liked tits.

French Class
UMass, Amherst

Girl, smelling another girl's hair: You're right! It does smell like a sweaty peach.

Australia

Girl: The moral of the story is: “Don't give blow jobs with a dislocated jaw!”

Rhodes University
South Africa