Guys

Guy #1: I was supposed to interview my grandma for my sociology project, but I didn't. I'm going to have to like, make up her life right now.
Guy #2: Why didn't you interview her?
Guy #1: Well, she lives in Oregon, and you know, the time change…
Guy #2: Dude, there's no time change from here to Oregon.
Guy #1: I know that, shut up! I'm trying to make myself feel better.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Beatrice

Guy to girlfriend: It doesn’t matter what we do! It’s pervert weekend!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: melissa

Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!

Federal Hill, Baltimore

Dude: Wait, so is the stronger acid HCl or H2O?

http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/

Guy, singing: He'll only be your friend if he touches your breast…
Girl: What?!
Guy, not singing anymore: It's like my favorite song.

Metro State
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Squid

Guy #1: … And he’d just sit in the back at these meetings listening, and every now and then he’d say something really intelligent — really eloquent, you know? And we’d all be like, ‘Wow, that was amazing,’ and then we’d notice his testicles were out.
Guy #2: Damn, I miss that guy.

Sub Connection, Ithaca College
New York

Overheard by: BLT on a garlic wrap

Very loud drunk guy, standing at a urinal while he tries to open his zipper: How the fuck do they do this?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.

Mission Santa Barbara, California

Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don't need you anymore. I got cigarettes.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Matt

Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents' friends seem really really fake.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas