Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn’t mean I’m creepy.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn’t mean I’m creepy.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Very elegantly dressed man: I'm trying to remember if I've ever mowed a lawn… No, I don't think I have.
Very elegantly dressed woman: Hang on, do we even have a lawn?
Very elegantly dressed man: Of course we do.
Very elegantly dressed woman: Oh, I remember now. We have a lot of lawn.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland
Loud guy in restaurant: So, we were out shopping and there were all these women in burkas taking pictures of each other. How fucking pointless is that? It’s not like they’re going to look back afterwards and go, ‘Oh, look, there’s Doris by the fountain!’
England
(on a bus passing city jail)
Mom: Look kids… that's where daddy is.
(pause)
Mom: I can give you a haircut.
Man: I like the lady who does my hair, she has good mirrors so I can see the back of my head.
Mom: I've got good mirrors. I've got mirrors on the ceiling, too.
Bus
Omaha, Nebraska
Roommate #1 looking at crater-filled pie in freezer: Dude, what did you do to this pie?
Roommate #2: Me and Erin* kinda went at it…
Roommate #3: Oh, yeah? What else did you guys do?
Roommate #2: …with a spoon.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Skinny guy: He's coming to the party tonight? Wasn't he hitting on your girlfriend last time?
Big burly bearded guy: No, she texted me last night. She talked to his roommate: turns out he wasn't inviting her to a threesome 'cause he likes her. He was inviting us to a foursome 'cause he likes me.
Ontario
Canadia
Guy: So how's it going with Tom?
Girl: Good. He's stuck with me.
Guy: You're like a virus.
Girl: No, I'm more like something good you can't shake. Like a baby.
Derby, Connecticut
Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: nayvera
Academic-type Oxford guy: You have such silky hair.
American girl: Thanks…
Academic-type Oxford guy: You could weave a garment out of it!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Catherine
