Hands

Teenage girl, talking about singer at concert: It was like Star Wars, except we weren't fighting with lightsabers and my hand didn't get cut off. Oh, and he was onstage and couldn't see me.

Rumson, New Jersey

Freshman boy: I think I have gingivitis.
Friend: You can't get gingivitis on your hand!

High School
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shiny

Girlfriend: Hold my hand, Eric. Please.
Boyfriend, yelling: No! Just stop it, okay?
Girlfriend: Come on. Just hold my hand.
Boyfriend: No! I'm not doing that again.
Girlfriend, laughing: Aw, why not?
Boyfriend: Because last time you licked my face!

Lawrenceville, New Jersey

Overheard by: Jake

Girl: So Jack sucked my thumb today.
Friends: Really?
Girl: Yeah, he sucked my thumb, then wiped his snot on my arm, licked my leg, and told me he wanted to go to the office.

Simsbury, Connecticut

Overheard by: rehreh88

Guy #1: If you told her you like sublime you could probably toss it in.
Guy #2: Yeah, I'd let her slob the knob just to see the four finger, cartoon hand grab.

http://overheardatlc.blogspot.com/2006/10/sublime-potent-aphrodisiac.html

Overheard by: tlc

Crazy drunk lady, whispering: I think I got asbestos on my hands. (in louder voice) Or maybe it's sperm! Heeheeheeheeheehee!

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: EdgingAwayFromHer

Woman to another: And I said to him, “well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!”

Portsmouth
England

Thug #1, in restroom stall: Oh, shit!
Thug #2, outside restroom: What's goin' on?
Thug #1: Why's it bleeding? It's bleeding! Why's it bleeding?!
Thug #2: Yo, you better wash your goddamn hands after you done in there.

Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: Dack

Four-year-old girl, showing off scrape on arm: I got that on the playground today when Joey pushed me and I fell!
Mom: Joey should keep his hands to himself. Does your teacher tell him that?
Four-year-old girl, like mom is stupid: Moooooom, he's a boy and that's what boys do! They like to push and wrestle and chase girls!
Mom: Um, that may be true, but it still doesn't make it right.

In Line at Starbucks
Bethesda, Maryland

Woman #1: It's raining, didn't you pray for no rain this morning in church?
Woman #2: No, we just shook hands and congratulated ourselves on our own self-righteousness.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Amy