Best Boss I've Ever Had!

Girl: So Jack sucked my thumb today.
Friends: Really?
Girl: Yeah, he sucked my thumb, then wiped his snot on my arm, licked my leg, and told me he wanted to go to the office.

Simsbury, Connecticut

Overheard by: rehreh88

Posted on August 28, 2009
Body parts, Connecticut, Friends, Girls, Hands, Health & Hygiene, Licking, Weirdness

Dude, I Don't Think the Powerpuff Girls Have Any Fingers

Guy #1: If you told her you like sublime you could probably toss it in.
Guy #2: Yeah, I'd let her slob the knob just to see the four finger, cartoon hand grab.

http://overheardatlc.blogspot.com/2006/10/sublime-potent-aphrodisiac.html

Overheard by: tlc

Posted on August 10, 2009
Guys, Hands, Overheard at Loyola, Weirdness

She Has Sex In Very Unusual Places

Crazy drunk lady, whispering: I think I got asbestos on my hands. (in louder voice) Or maybe it's sperm! Heeheeheeheeheehee!

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: EdgingAwayFromHer

Posted on August 2, 2009
Canadia, Crazies, Cum, Drunks, Hands, Sensory experiences, Women

Your Editors Badly Want to Hear the Joke for Which This Is the Punchline

Woman to another: And I said to him, “well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!”

Portsmouth
England

Posted on July 15, 2009
England, Hands, Sensory experiences, Undies, Weirdness, Women

Trevor Had Watched One Lifetime Movie Marathon Too Many

Thug #1, in restroom stall: Oh, shit!
Thug #2, outside restroom: What's goin' on?
Thug #1: Why's it bleeding? It's bleeding! Why's it bleeding?!
Thug #2: Yo, you better wash your goddamn hands after you done in there.

Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: Dack

Posted on May 24, 2009
Advice, Default, Hands, Malls, New York, Questions, Thugs

History's an Unbroken Chain Of Pushing, Wrestling and Girl-Chasing

Four-year-old girl, showing off scrape on arm: I got that on the playground today when Joey pushed me and I fell!
Mom: Joey should keep his hands to himself. Does your teacher tell him that?
Four-year-old girl, like mom is stupid: Moooooom, he's a boy and that's what boys do! They like to push and wrestle and chase girls!
Mom: Um, that may be true, but it still doesn't make it right.

In Line at Starbucks
Bethesda, Maryland

Posted on March 23, 2009
Default, Gender issues, Girls, Hands, Kids, Maryland, Moms, Restaurants

It's Total Crap, But the Wine Selection's Incredible

Woman #1: It's raining, didn't you pray for no rain this morning in church?
Woman #2: No, we just shook hands and congratulated ourselves on our own self-righteousness.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Amy