Hands

Man in bathroom on cell: Hang on a sec, I am going someplace quieter. (a few seconds later) Damn, hang on. I just peed on my hand.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/443767925/nobody-saw-that-coming.html

Overheard by: did they know you were in the bathroom? Ewww.

Girl: I hate those girls that are like, “Oh, look at me, I can dance with my hand in my hair!”

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Woman to others: And every time she sees him, she shakes her fist at him, like this! (shakes fist in the air)

Harris Teeter
Charlotte, North Carolina

Professor: To shake hands you have to make sure the wedge of your hand fits in the other person's wedge, and that your skin touches, and then give it a good two or three pumps.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Manager of restaurant to guy leaving restroom: I know we don't have paper towels in there. I am getting some right now.
Guy: It's okay. I never wash my hands anyway.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/362523566/dont-come-back-now.html

Overheard by: that guy's girlfriend

Guy, about hand sanitizer: You know that germ stuff? Well, I put it on my hands, then I put it on my butt cheeks, and it stung my butt cheeks!

Monterey, California

Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.

Maine

Strange man to lightly-dressed girls sitting on bench: Thank you! Have a good night!
(leaves)
Girl to friend: Oh my god. He licked your hand. Ohmigod! He. Licked. Your. Hand!

Montreal
Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: And it tasted like humus.

Preppy girl #1: So I had it all over me, it was on my hands and my face…
Preppy girl #2: Oh my god! Did you throw up?

San Luis Obispo, California

Teenage girl, talking about singer at concert: It was like Star Wars, except we weren't fighting with lightsabers and my hand didn't get cut off. Oh, and he was onstage and couldn't see me.

Rumson, New Jersey