Hands

Girlfriend to boyfriend, after emerging from bathroom: Hahaha! I peed on my hands!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/365155800/this-doesnt-happen-unless-you-want-it-to.html

Overheard by: that's disgusting. Really.

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

White trash mother, hurrying five-year-old out of bathroom: C'mon, let's go!
Five-year-old: But I want to wash my hands!
White trash mother: (sighs) Fine, but make it quick.
Five-year-old: Yay!

Lamberts Cafe
Sikeston, Missouri

Overheard by: Grossed Out

Bus driver: Push back, push back! Don't be afraid! Hold somebody's hand, tell 'em you love 'em!

57 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Smallison

Soccer coach: I love Fiji water.
Assistant: It's silky smooth.
Soccer coach: It's never been touched by human hands until it touches my lips.

Texas

Chick: Are you sure you’re a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That’s not my photography hand.

Taber’s Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Flying Pig

Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!

ER
Newport Beach, California

Mom to teenage daughter: Yeah, they swell up big, you shoulda seen it, looked like I had a pussy on my hand.

Courtroom
Houston, Texas

Man in bathroom on cell: Hang on a sec, I am going someplace quieter. (a few seconds later) Damn, hang on. I just peed on my hand.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/443767925/nobody-saw-that-coming.html

Overheard by: did they know you were in the bathroom? Ewww.

Girl: I hate those girls that are like, “Oh, look at me, I can dance with my hand in my hair!”

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania