Mom to eight-year-old son: Do you want pizza tonight?
Son: No! I can't eat that, I just got pregnant!
Naperville, Illinois
Mom to eight-year-old son: Do you want pizza tonight?
Son: No! I can't eat that, I just got pregnant!
Naperville, Illinois
Heavy guy looking at atlas: What’s a ‘labia’?
Son: One of those Eastern European countries.
Barnes & Noble
Peoria, Illinois
Old lady hooked up to portable oxygen machine: I need a cigarette!
Grandkids: Grandma, nooo!
Restaurant
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Policewoman: I seen you beggin'. You don't know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That's my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.
Urbana, Illinois
Physicist: Elise has a quantum ass. It's either big or real big. Depending on what pants she wears.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: change
Loud black girl: And Lafawnda was all, “I kissed a girl and I liked it!” But it wasn't like she was curvaceous or anything!
Outside Shedd Aquarium
Chciago, Illinois
Overheard by: Mateo
Seven-year-old little boy staring at a little old lady with white hair: You’re going to die!
Hilander
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Koosa
Female college student: Why are you wearing underwear? I don't wear underwear. I'm a dancer. You are not a dancer. What are you even doing here? You're not a real dancer. You're an elf. And you're going to wear panties like an elf.
Chicago, Illinois
Professor: You can't look at a record and hear the music…unless you're really baked.
Decatur, Illinois
