Middle-aged black man #1: She has a pretty face.
Middle-aged black man #2: I can’t fuck a face!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Tad Allagash
Middle-aged black man #1: She has a pretty face.
Middle-aged black man #2: I can’t fuck a face!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Tad Allagash
Pilot, on PA system, after a slightly bumpy landing: Ladies and gentlemen, that landing was not me or the plane. That was our co-pilot–he's required to complete one landing a month. And he blew it. Welcome to Chicago.
Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Nonplussed Passenger
Girl #1: Are those cows or people?
Girl #2: They’re geese.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Mom to eight-year-old son: Do you want pizza tonight?
Son: No! I can't eat that, I just got pregnant!
Naperville, Illinois
Heavy guy looking at atlas: What’s a ‘labia’?
Son: One of those Eastern European countries.
Barnes & Noble
Peoria, Illinois
Old lady hooked up to portable oxygen machine: I need a cigarette!
Grandkids: Grandma, nooo!
Restaurant
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Policewoman: I seen you beggin'. You don't know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That's my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.
Urbana, Illinois
Physicist: Elise has a quantum ass. It's either big or real big. Depending on what pants she wears.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: change
Loud black girl: And Lafawnda was all, “I kissed a girl and I liked it!” But it wasn't like she was curvaceous or anything!
Outside Shedd Aquarium
Chciago, Illinois
Overheard by: Mateo
