…Wanting to Make Something Of Themselves

Ditzy girl #1: Like, I love her… but she's just so dumb.
Ditzy girl #2: I know! I mean, she wants to take the MCAT. I don't understand that kind of people.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 6, 2017
Canadia, Feelings, Girls, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Stupidity, Wishes

Thank God I Live in Connecticut, Where I Avoid That Sort Of Thing.

Student #1: He went flying over the Rockies and they haven't found his plane.
Professor: Oh, good, good! I hated that guy.
Student #2: Who was he?
Professor: Some rich fucker.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 4, 2017
Connecticut, Gripes, Insults, Questions, Students, Teachers

Fred Discovers Urine in the Ball Pit

Guy shaking his fist: Damn you, Chuck E. Cheese!

New Jersey

Posted on July 22, 2017
Default, Feelings, Guys, Insults, Names, New Jersey, Weirdness, Words

The Bureau of Rude Remarks Shall Hear of This!

Dude: You should know — I’m into government intervention into every aspect of life.
Passerby: Such a fag.

Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand

Posted on July 15, 2017
Insults, Jerks, Names, New Zealand

When the Student Is Ready, the Master Will Insult Him

Hobo: Fuck you, ya dirty fuckhole!
Male passerby: Wait — ‘fuckhole’? Is that, like, a cooch or an ass?
Hobo: Depends on if you’re gay or not. For you, it’s an ass.

Denny Way
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 30, 2017
Hobos, Insults, Washington

Not Today, Though– I've Got Leg Cramps

Hobo: Hey baby, you ever had the back a yo' knee fucked?
Girl in line at the show: Once…it was okay, I guess.
Hobo: Shitdamn girl, you're a freak!

Ybor
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Gotta try that

Posted on April 9, 2017
Body parts, Default, Florida, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Weirdness

Last Time I Tried That, the Other Girl and I Both Ended Up with Concussions

(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on October 19, 2016
Default, Drunks, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Money, Restroom, Santa Claus, Vagina, Wishes, Women

…As Dear Abby Told You in That Column

Girl #1, throwing home pregnancy test into friend's basket: Here, I think you need this.
Girl #2, throwing box of condoms into friend's basket: Not as much as you need these, you slut.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Erica

Posted on October 13, 2016
Comebacks, Condoms, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Pregnancy, Washington, DC

If Your Editors Had a ShamWow, We Would Use It Every Day

Frat boy #1: Oh, dude, a ShamWow! (to friend at counter) Hey, should we get a ShamWow?
Frat boy #2, without looking at him: No.
Frat boy #1: But it's a ShamWow!
Frat boy #2: You're an idiot. (long pause) Fine, get the fucking ShamWow.
Frat boy #1: (excitedly runs ShamWow over to counter)
Frat boy #2: Fuck.

Pet's Mart, Montana

Overheard by: Sadie

Posted on October 9, 2016
Frat boy types, Insults, Montana, Shopping, Stores, Stupidity

…As Expressly Stated in the Terms Of My Employment.

Girl on phone: You can't just give me some Craisins and expect everything to be okay after you called me a Nazi!

University of Florida

Posted on August 20, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Florida, Food, Gifts, Girls, Insults, On the phone

Insults