Every Show on TLC, in a Nutshell.

Boy #1: Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #2: Yeah, that's nasty. Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #3: I want to see that.
Boy #2, after long pause: Yeah, me too.
Boy #1: Yeah, that would be pretty awesome to see.

High School
Texas

Posted on June 10, 2015
Kids, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Texas, Weirdness, Wishes

And We Were All Like, “Fine, But Guess What Happened on Gossip Girl!”

Girl, to friends: So then she e-mailed us all, and she was like, “We just ate an African baby!”

Memorial University
St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on June 10, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, E-mail, Food, Geography, Girls, Kids, Weirdness

All the Other Races Do It!

College girl to college guy: So you won't marry me but you'll procreate with me?

Glendale, Wisconsin

Posted on June 9, 2015
Frat boy types, Kids, Parenting, Pregnancy, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sorority types, Wisconsin

Based Upon My Limited Series of Experiments

Father: My kid broke his face today. He tried to do a back flip and kneed himself in the eye.
Friend: It’s fine. Kids are like lizards — they grow stuff back.

Liberty Mutual
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on June 8, 2015
Dads, Default, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Kids, Massachusetts

Listen for the Whistle-Like Singing

Child: Mom! Mom! Where did you go?
Mom, an aisle over: I’m right over here, honey!
Child: Where are you, Mom?
Mom: I’m just an aisle over, honey!
Child: But I don’t see your blowhole!

Toys ‘R’ Us
Virginia

Overheard by: bza

Posted on June 8, 2015
Body parts, Kids, Virginia

His Parents Took Solace in Knowing He Would Be an “Aggressive” Gay

Kid #1, playing with blocks: This robot needs guns!
Kid #2: Pretend his hands are guns. [Pauses, then sings] Everybody dance now!

82nd and State
Kansas City, Kansas

Overheard by: BookVixen

Posted on June 8, 2015
Dancing, Default, Friends, Kansas, Kids, Music, Singing

Yeah, and I’m Not Sure He Has an Exit Strategy

Little girl: Where’s Ben*?
Father: He’s in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!

Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL

Posted on June 7, 2015
Dads, Death & dying, Euphemisms, Feelings, Florida, Girls, Kids, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Do We Really Want to Waste a Bag Of Crack, Though?

Guy #1: I know how to get your kid back, easy! I'll just put a bag of crack in your mom's car and call the cops and say “there is this old lady with a bag of crack and a baby in her car!” (laughs)
Guy #2: That would be so cool.

Bus Stop
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia