Little boy, in sing-song chant, marching around outdoor cafe: Die die, die die, die die, die die!
Santa Monica, California
Little boy, in sing-song chant, marching around outdoor cafe: Die die, die die, die die, die die!
Santa Monica, California
Woman #1, approaching register counter: Ooh! Kinder eggs! I love those things!
Woman #2: What are they?
Woman #1: They're chocolate! With something inside!
Cashier: They're hollow chocolate eggs.
Woman #1: With a surprise inside!
Woman #2: Ew!
Cashier: It's a toy.
Woman #2: Oh. A toy.
Cashier: Whoa, okay, just imagine you were a kid again, and what a surprise meant when you were a kid.
Woman #2: I know… I know. It's just, adult surprises are never fun.
Woman #1, walking out of store: What were you thinking it was going to be? A penis that would squirt all over you?
Woman #2: You never know! Adult surprises are always bad!
San Francisco, California
Mother: I’m going to sell you to the zoo.
Child: No, sell me to Jesus!
Billings, Montana
Overheard by: Amber
Student teacher: All right, guys, let's try that again. But this time with 30 to 40% less child death.
Clarksville, Maryland
Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.
Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not from here
Little girl: You don’t like me!
Mother: If I didn’t like you, I’d throw you in the dumpster.
North Branford, Connecticut
Mom to six-year-old: I'm not buying this whole “selective stuttering” thing.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Mom to four-year-old's horrified babysitter: Poop is not play-doh. That's the lesson we learned today.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Mom, doing mock interview of five-year-old for their journal: Okay, who is your least favorite person?
Five-year-old: Saddam Hussein, and the girl at school with the bent chin.
Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
