Mother to daughter: Just remember, honey, next time you borrow my dildo, don't get blood on it.
Leeds
England
Mother to daughter: Just remember, honey, next time you borrow my dildo, don't get blood on it.
Leeds
England
Girl: Seriously, it's about this guy who fucks his clone and then wonders whether it's gay or masturbation. And that's the whole fucking book!
Guy, after thoughtful pause: No. Totally not gay.
UBC
Canadia
Teen to friend at urinal: How many people do you think have whacked off into this urinal?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/339361199/just-you-little-buddy.html
Overheard by: seriously?
Guy on bicycle: Hey guys, what should we do when we get home?
Bike friend #1: Hmm… I don't know.
Bike friend #2: Let's masturbate!
Guy on bicycle: Yeah!
University of California
Santa Barbara, California
Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
Greenpeace guy: It's never good to idolize someone who died hanging himself and jerking off.
Oregon State University
Overheard by: David
Guy to stranger: Is it just me, or is that guy jerking off to Pac-Man?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl browsing underwear section: I love this bra–you'd wear it just to play with yourself, you know?
Wiltshire
England
Overheard by: J
Blonde American student: For some reason, when I get high I get paranoid that everyone around me is jerking off!
University of London
England
Overheard by: The Friend
Male hipster to another: So, I was jerking off into this vagina…
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: DagnyTaggart
